Dear Customers,
At Time Warner we are used to getting our way. We are a $100 billion dollar company that owns so many things you wouldn’t believe it. In many of our service areas, we are a monopoly. Time Warner Cable believes strongly that The First Amendment should have its limits. We are fine with parody or satire as long as the party is not making fun of us. Making fun of Time Warner is a big “no no” but if you chose to do so, here is what will happen…
PARODY WEBSITE
If you make a parody website, our legal team will quickly threaten you with an email. Expect the website to be taken down within days.
PARODY VIDEO
If you shoot a video making fun of us, we will have not only the video but your whole YouTube account deleted. Don't make fun of us. We own you and control your life.
PARODY TWITTER
Do NOT create a twitter that makes fun of our awful customer service. We will have your twitter account suspended within an hour or so.
At Time Warner Cable we want
people to be able to express themselves.
Just as long they are expressing things unrelated to our horrible
customer service. The first
amendment is great and all, but our profits are more important. Oh, and don't even think of recording
our calls.
If you want to talk to our awful customer service representatives you must agree to have the conversation recorded, but you are not allowed to record on your end. Why? Because fuck you, you fucking piece of shit. Don't fucking ask me questions.
Glenn A. Britt
CEO
Time Warner Cable
